2011 brought to you by Glandular Fever

My New Year’s resolutions this year are brought to me by glandular fever which is a terrible pity because so far the things that glandular fever have brought me are not very pleasant at all.  Unless you consider feeling like you exist in honey with a brain made of cotton wool to be pleasant.

In fact I am still coming to terms with the fact that I actually have an identifiable disease because I believe I am the world’s healthiest person, I just feel like shit.

I keep going for blood tests, and the doctor tries to insist that I have all sorts of pathological issues.   And not the ones that you read about in psychology textbooks. Although a different doctor…, nah forget it

I tried changing doctor and even that didn’t work – the new doctor said the same thing.  It’s a conspiracy.  And so, according to the world of medicine,  I have glandular fever.

Unfortunately I am not a very good glandular fever patient because apparently the best thing to do for this badly named* virus is to rest.  And I don’t know how to rest.  Seriously I find it nigh on impossible to relax when there is always so much to do, even if I am too tired to do it.

But my husband keeps forcing me to go to bed (and it is entirely different from the type of forcing me to go to bed that he does when I am well) and worse than that he keeps on suggesting things that I should do things differently.

So, in honour of Mr Pencil I have come up with some new year’s resolutions

  • I will go to bed at 10pm every night.  I wont actually be able to start this one straight away because if I go to sleep during our New Year’s Eve party I will be mocked forever more (not to mention very uncomfortable).  I also wont be able to do this one anytime ever because I have way too much to do after 10pm
  • I will not spend so much time on the computer. Rather I will sit on a chair and only my fingers will be on the computer keyboard
  • I will eat a healthier diet.  I will do this one.  In between eating chocolates and pure icing sugar (my current weak spot) I will eat very healthy food
  • I will not complain about my weight. Instead I will complain about how fat I feel…er wait.
  • I will not waste money on clothes that I never wear. I will wear all the clothes that I buy, how else will I see that I made a huge mistake when I bought them?
  • I will not play the same 17 songs over and over again on my iPod. I will download 17 new songs to play aloud and I will listen to the 17 I love when Mr Pencil is not home
  • I will drive a lot slower and try not to get any more traffic fines. I will try.  Really I will
  • I will look after my health. No more blood tests for me

What are your new year’s resolutions and what made you decide on them?

*I believe a better, and more descriptive name for Glandular Fever is Zombie Fog.


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10 responses to “2011 brought to you by Glandular Fever

  1. intravenoustherapy

    I first got GF when I was 13. I still get bouts of it sometimes and it monumentally sucks. I also had viral meningitis last year, which was infinitely worse – and from that I now have post-viral-fatigue syndrome which is killing me. I’m 21; I work 50 hour weeks (mostly unpaid as they’re making up hours for my clinical placement for the nurses and midwives board), study full time and volunteer with four charities. In my spare time I babysit, blog, edit friends’ resumes and cover letters and am also struggling with my own mental health stuff. I do NOT have time for PVFS. Nor do I have time for bouts of GF.

    One of the huge mistakes I’ve made – and why they think I have the PVFS is that I really battle to give myself recovery time. You NEED to take it slow. You NEED to eat an abundance of fresh fruit and veggies and whole grains and do gentle exercise (yoga and shit like that) and drink plenty of water. You need to sleep when you need to (although hard with LP, I imagine!) and rest when you need to, etc. Take it from someone who completely ignored everything and was back at work within 10 days of being diagnosed with viral meningitis. It is NOT worth it.

    Look after yourself SP!

  2. I had glandular fever for 18 months followed by post-viral syndrome (about 4 years all up). It sucks but it helps keep things simple too. Your plan looks good. You can do it!

  3. I’m late to this. From what I’ve heard, I don’t think it’s your driving we have to worry about honey. It’s Kerri’s.

    In any case, your writing more than makes up for it. You are superb.

  4. Fifi_labelle1

    great list :-) I would also like to add to that list that we should stop rushing home from work,etc to take our offspring to their various extra-curricular sporting/social events and that they should now take public transport on their own !!!

  5. Why would you ever sit on the computer? I stand on mine. It is very handy for reaching those cupboards that are just two inches too high.
    Happy New Year to my darling Lana. I love you and your Zombie Fog and am delighted to take any Metallicus clothing that you deem to be a huge mistake.

  6. Oh hon- am sending positive vibes (best I can do given I am not religious, sorry) that 2011 will actually be brought to you by Metallicus and Twitterlove and beautiful renovation and gorgeous son and hub and the discovery of fat and sugar free chocolate that tastes exactly like Lindt.
    I’ve loved meeting you this year- thank you for your friendship and encouragement and unique sense of humour. Feel better soon and good luck tonight! xxx

  7. Love the list, but sorry you’re feeling so crap.

    And I’m very glad you’ve decided to stop sitting on your computer. It isn’t very productive to just sit on it, it’s much better when you look at it and type… ;)

  8. innerbeam

    Yes, glandular fever is pretty awful, it’s also your body asking for things to slow down…it can stop you in your tracks. I had it about 7 years ago and looking back I wish I had have known more about how to look after myself. I do reccomend seeing a naturopath or alternative therapist for some help- herbs could be useful and vege juices if you can make some. I wish you all the very best!!

  9. When I told you to just go back to bed today, I had no idea you had GF! Oh my! Poor love! If it’s any consolation (and I know it’s not!) I feel like shit every day, and have done for years. The “name” the medical profession have given to my ails is far too long to type here and won’t mean anything to most normal people so I won’t bore you – other than to say “hang in there petal” – fake it til you make it, shop online, stay away from Post Offices unless absolutely necessary, and rest when you can. But please don’t ever get off that computer or Twitter – the world would be a far less wonderful place if you did!
    Chin up …

    PS I found the bastard who cursed you today. His name was ShitForBrains, he never Tweets or Blogs and has no bloody idea what it feels like to not be able to get your own parcel from the Post Office, to miss out on a Metalicus Sale (or any Sale for that matter). I set him straight. Fast. My very own “sharpest pencil” is now duly shoved up many orifices in the said ShitForBrains voodoo doll. Consider the curse now officially lifted. Tomorrow will be a GREAT day. Oh, and re your vego dinner tonite? I have plenty of ham in the fridge – can I send you some over Twitter? I didn’t think so…sniff. Sorry – I did try!

  10. Excellent list! I hope you feel better soon – that certainly brightened my afternoon.now off to find the wine!

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